That has been me these past few days. As I have prepared for a full house – well not really full, but maybe close! And still considering what Christmas morning will look like here – with a new focus and more intentionality. With less presents to open – what does the morning look like?
As Thanksgiving approaches and I look at the countless blessings God has showered on us – I feel so unworthy.
I watched this video through facebook and I cannot stop thinking about it.
I just sit here in my new world – in Malakoff, the middle of no where so to speak. And I marvel at answered prayers in our lives. And yet, about 18 months ago we told God we would go anywhere for him. We would go to Africa if he wanted us to go. We were willing to go anywhere, we looked in to many overseas opportunities and yet, he said no. He said no to a wide open door in Germany that we were sure about. I was so sure I was planning vacation & educational trips with the Lewis family. Then God said “no”. Instead he sent us to Irving – Irving?? Really God??? But it was so good!! So many dear friends – a wonderful church, and the best part being there for the last months of Robert’s grandparents time here. SO we saw God’s hand (after it all) and we were once again so thankful.
Then he led us to Malakoff – we could again see his hand in each step we took. And sometimes I am amazed at how he says “yes” in a BIG way. I mean I love it here. My kids love it here. Robert loves his job. Really God? This good?
And yet in the back of my mind, I wonder, “But we were willing to go anywhere for you and were willing to endure hardships” (I was even willing to give up my bread stuff – big hardships!!) And yet, he said “I want you here.”
So as we settle in. As we have found our church. As we meet new friends. God has revealed our very own “Africa” here in Malakoff. It is not a third world town – in fact it is just a normal small town city in the middle of no where. As we serve in the kid’s ministry at our church and meet kids there we see our mission field. As I make new friends I see ways I can pray for them and with them through big stuff in their lives.
So while we were willing to go anywhere, God knew where he was going to send us and it was not across oceans. It was not to inner cities across America. It was not in a “real” ministry. It was right here. On our little “farm” – with our pond and chickens. It was right where we are. He has given us a ministry beyond what we could have imagined.
And again, I stand in awe – I feel unworthy of all that he has set before us. These children who are starved for attention. These hungry souls who need a savior, but they also need real flesh and blood to hug them, to pray for them, to love them. I see young families that yearn for fellowship and encouragement in their stage of life. I see so much.
That video – I think it changed my eyes. It reminded me that I do not want to see through my filter of life, I want the eyes of Jesus. I want to see what he sees when he looks at this world. I want to see the hurt hearts and not the anger. I want to see the despair and not the mean spirit. I want to see the need for love and not the fear.
And as I realize how unworthy I am of all that he has set before me I see even more my need to be in fellowship with the One who can give me what I need to pour out to those who need it. I need to carve out that time each morning to be with him, in prayer, in study, in silence to hear from him. To be filled with his spirit and his love, so that I can turn around to my children, to my friends and to those I do not know yet, and pour out that which he has filled me with.
God is so good. I love this time of year when we stand and pour out our thankfulness to the One who has given us everything.
~ our home
~ sweet kittens who are loving to snuggle with us
~ puppies who delight in a pat and kind word
~ a church of people that I am coming to love so quickly
~ friends who jump in and love you immediately
~ windy fall mornings to enjoy warm coffee
~ Ruby Red grapefruit with fried egg sandwiches
~ watching little ones play games at the table
~ the promise of a wood burning stove in our living room
~ a completed chicken coop & 22 happy chickens 🙂
~ staying up until midnight talking about God and Life
~ snuggling in the morning under the sheets
~ family with new boots! (Thanks Nana & Louie)
~ children with teachable hearts
~ a pastor who preaches truth & has a huge heart for missions
~ feeling God stirring my heart & not knowing where it will lead, but knowing it will be good!!
~ filled compassion boxes and waiting to see where they go