Character Training (Revisited)

This seems to be the year of character training in our home.  I know, this should be something we do every year, but it seems to be of highest importance THIS year.  For months it was my youngest boy.  Now my oldest boy seems to be coming to the front of the discipline focus.

That is, until Kristen shared with me some things she gleaned from Laying Down the Rails on the way home from our house. 

I own this book.  Bought it in January I think.  I looked over a chapter about that time and shelved it.  It was not my favorite book.  But I knew, would be a great resource when I needed it.

 

As Kristen was here, she looked it over, and then asked if she could take it home until September (when I fly up there).  Of course I knew I would not miss it and encouraged her to take it!

So on the way home she read it with more attention that she was able to here.  She really enjoyed it.  She is going to make some notes and email me (ahem!!) but until then, I am chewing on something we talked about.  We both struggle with yelling. 

yelling mom

I am sure I am more of a yeller than her, but who knows?  I yell a lot.  I hate it.  I beat myself up all the time over yelling.   But I cannot seem to stop.  I tried praying about it (probably not long enough), I tried stopping – but how?  I need to replace habits – that is the most successful pattern I see – I replace bad with good.  Otherwise, I fall right back into bad.

So we talked, how do we stop?  Well, we are praying for each other, and ourselves.  I am going to count to three before I raise my voice.  Kristen pointed out how we feel the immediacy to correct, but it took minutes to get to that point.  Take a minute to handle the temper first.

The BIG revelation for me was : our yelling is our adult Temper Tantrum.  Wow.  That really hurt (my ego that is).  Think about it.  I yell when I do not get my way.  When I am annoyed.  When I am frustrated.  When I am acting like a 3 year old.

So, I am hoping that the steps I am taking, along with Kristen, will help to curb this habit of mine.  I hate that I do it.  I hate how I feel at night after they are all in bed and I have spent too long that day yelling.  Any yelling is too much. 

So we are still working on character training here, but who knew it was my character training?  Hmmmm.

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