I have read some great stuff while trying to sort out this parenting thing. First, you really need to check out Kay’s MOAT Blog Post by Joe White. I loved what he said.
I am so much about business in my home. I wish it were not so true, but I would “rather” fold the laundry than play chess. Now, listen, not really, I mean I prefer chess, but if I do that who will fold the laundry? People will tell you, play with them – you will have forever to fold the clothes. But really? I need them folded and put away today – not in 15 years.
So I struggle with the “fun” part of parenting. Therefore, I plan it. Yes, I schedule my fun time into my day, otherwise it will not happen. We are back to one-on-one time daily, me and a child. Monday, J – Tuesday, P – etc. They all want to play chess these days which I love. But in order to make it happen I have an alarm set to go off to MAKE me make time.
I am seeing this feeds their souls. I am seeing them crave that time with just me. They love to see if they can beat me yet, and not yet – but VERY soon they will all be beating me, I can see it coming!!
I mentioned the praising yesterday. I am so bad at that. If you do 10 things great but miss 1 I tend to focus on the 1. Bad mom! So I am trying to me more positive. But at the same time I am finding that how we praise matters, we need to praise their attitude and choices “You did great focusing on the task and getting it done without distractions” rather than “great job dusting.”
I am seeing it work, I just hope I can keep it up. I want to be the mom that encourages their hearts, but life can simply get so busy I can hardly have a coherent thought, let alone a praising one!
Another great reminder to me to keep things as slow as possible, with 4 kids, piano lessons, 4H (2 clubs), volunteering weekly at the food pantry (2 oldest), and a few classes we do with others, school, food, life…. I am tired thinking about it all. Keep things slow. Less. I know this is the key to peace, but it is so hard to live out.
I sure hope my boys really get their act together soon, I am tired of cooking beans and rice twice a day!!!
Until then, I hope to stay positive and schedule my Fun Mom time!!